before you date a girl with a mental illness, remember: saying, “you’re beautiful” won’t balance the chemicals in her brain.
and don’t fucking say, “i’ll be here for you, no matter what,” if you don’t mean it.
don’t think you’re fixing her by saying, “i love you.” because you’re not
This needs more notes.
All of it, but mostly the bolded
I’d respect this more if it didn’t just day her.
I find it interesting how society doesn’t care when the media sexualizes women, when men sexualizes women, when school and the government sexualizes women. But the second a woman is in control and sexualizes herself willingly it’s wrong and disgusting.
Here’s the dirty little secret about this though: there is no such thing as withholding sex because there is no situation in which you owe another human being sex. Ever. Your body is 100% your own and you get to consent or not consent to other people doing things to or with your body for whatever the hell reason you would like. This includes because you’re pissed off at the person, because they did something you didn’t like, because you just don’t fucking feel like it, because you’re tired, because you don’t feel attractive, because you’d rather read a book…any of the above. And not wanting to have sex with someone because you have negative feelings towards them at a given moment is not in fact punishment. It’s actually a very natural human feeling not to want to be physically intimate with someone when you’re annoyed/angry/hurt/sad with them. Oddly enough letting someone be close to your body when you don’t feel emotionally close to them doesn’t always feel great (if that’s your thing then go for it, but for those who don’t like it then there is no fucking reason to apologize).
But the idea that you can pull some sort of power play in a relationship by not giving the other person something which you don’t owe to them in the first place makes no sense. It would be like telling your partner that you’re going to punish them by not baking them chocolate chip cookies every day: sure, maybe they would like those cookies but in no way are you obligated to bake them cookies anyway, so they should probably be just fine getting along without it. The idea that you should feel as if the only way you can express that you’re angry or upset or unhappy in your relationship is by taking ownership over your body in a way that is so basic it should never have been a question is somewhat disgusting. If your partner has you so convinced that you owe them sex, no wonder you feel a little angry or vindictive towards them.
You meet a lot of people in life. Some people make you feel special and wanted. Some make you wonder why you’re even alive. Others reassure you of how great you are. While others will do everything in their power to tear you down. You’ll meet lovers who want your body and those who want your soul. Bosses who don’t give two shits about yet and others who want to see you be successful. You’ll meet people who say hurtful things to you and people who will rub your back when you just need someone there. But I think I have met the greatest person of them all. He has shown me the most love of anyone I have ever met. He trusts me more than I ever could trust someone in such a short period which is dangerous, but I won’t disappoint. I’ve met his family who took me in with open arms and showed me what it was like to be great and supportive parents. The comfort I feel when I am with him is crazy. All my doubts and fears seem to vanish as long as I am with him. As long as I am with him I am happy and comfortable. What scares me though is when you get lifted so high, how long will it be before you’re dropped to the ground again? I try not to think about it but it’s an honest fear. He’s unlike any other guy I have met. He is already talking about what we are going to be doing months from now, which kind of reassures me that he wants me for more than a little bit. He just seems so fearless in taking on a long term relationship and I love it. Maybe I’m a better catch than I thought. Maybe I do deserve to have someone this great in my life. I am just so thankful right now and I want this feeling to stay and all my hesitations and fears to vanish. The scary thing about falling in love for me is I don’t think I could handle the pain of having my heart broke.